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Yoshiya "Shi" Yamato

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⌈ PLAYER SECTION ⌉
Player: Berri
Contact: taiyakinonaku
Age: 28
Current Characters: Satou Kuroneko (OC)


⌈ CHARACTER SECTION ⌉
Character: Yoshiya "Shi" Yamato
Age: 16
OC Type: Pure OC
Point Taken: Age 15: After failing a heroic deed attempt

World Building:

The world of spirits is a modern fantasy, flavored by the existence of, well, spirits. By this world's definition, a spirit is a soul with no physical body to attach itself to. The term contrasts definitions such as human, which is a soul with a physical body to attach itself to.

Because spirits have no physical form, they are unbound by physical laws and rules. On the negative side, this means that a spirit cannot feel, smell, or taste. And though they can see and hear, they cannot be seen or heard. It isn't uncommon for a spirit to not even be able to interact with other spirits: They live long, lonely existences without the guarantee of acknowledgment.

On the plus side, spirits are not bound by physical laws. While a human soul is attached to its body, a spirit can possess any physical object. Through this object, they can potentially experience some of the physical world. An object that a spirit possesses is called a 'shrine.'
Shrines aren't limited to only physical objects either. They can be a person, for example, or a concept. The most common form of shrine is a mystery. When a spirit inhabits a mystery, they can gain magic powers over it. This turns them from a spirit to a Kami. And the strength of their magic is determined by faith.

The easiest way to illustrate this concept is by example.

A spirit who inhabits the mystery of agriculture becomes the Kami of Agriculture. The new Kami is able to manifest in small ways with magic, thus alerting humans to their existence. The more that humans believe that agriculture is controlled by this particular Kami, the stronger that Kami's influence over agriculture actually becomes.

This cycle of dependence once benefited all parties. In the 'Golden Age of Kami, the world was really ruled by the Kami that humans believed in. The Kami were seen briefly, they were heard, and most of all... They had an impact on the world they were born into.

But there is a drawback: Once a mystery is solved, the Kami loses their shrine. When humans discovered the science of agriculture, they solved the mystery and destroyed the Kami's shrine. And gradually, that Kami would lose faith until they reverted back to a lonely spirit existence. As scientific advances swept human civilization, the Golden Age of Kami gave way to the 'Era of Forgetting.'

By the 21st Century, Kami and Spirits are folktales and legend. The very few who believe have managed to keep their Kami in existence, but their power is only a percentage of what it once was. Mysteries are hard to come by, and it isn't uncommon for spirits to fight each other over the chance to inhabit a mystery.

There was, however, one last shrine available to spirits. A secret kind of magic that even the Kami affected by it didn't understand: Naming Magic. If a spirit was given a name out of love, and for as long as someone called them by that name, they could use it as a shrine. It's a very tricky kind of shrine. Once you know it is a name, its mysterious power disappears. You also cannot consciously use naming magic... and all of this relies on you being able to see spirits, love them, and being able to have their name heard. So it is a very rare kind of magic.

The life of spirits is further complicated by the existence of Spirit Hunters. While every hunter has their own reasoning, the vast majority simply believe that spirits and kami should not exist. There is a story passed down about how all souls, spirit and human, are fighting for the right to exist. It is believed that the overpopulation of spirits, who cannot die natural deaths, is quickly overloading and destroying the planet.

Spirit Hunting in the 21st Century is a quiet business, but a threat none the less. They solve mysteries as scientists, and use ancient magicks to destroy spirits all together. They will even destroy the Kami who still reside in unsolved mysteries.

[maskedsmile]

Backstory:

Marion Wing was born in the 21st Century of his world: A 'Modern Era of Spirits,' where the mere idea of them was kept to legend and folktales. His mother and father were both entirely normal humans, and their son was initially just the same. However, Marion was born with strange white hair and unnaturally bright cyan eyes. A trait credited to spirits being interested in the boy, who was born with the ability to see them.

His strange appearance frightened his parents. To his father, it was a sign that Marion was the son of another man. It was the reason that his father walked out on them before Marion was even three years old, leaving his mother to raise a son she did not want.
To his mother, his creepy looks were a sign that Marion was not even human. Granted, the young woman would have accepted any reason to abandon her burdensome son. When the topic of spirits began picking up attention, his mother determined that Marion was a spirit sent to curse her. She decided she could repent for her sinful early life by taking Marion to an active shrine and abandoning him.

Meanwhile, Marion was an exceptionally bright boy. At age five, he understood that the spirits he saw were not normal. He also understood why his mother thought he was a curse, that she hated him, and that he had made her life very difficult. So when he was left on the steps of an oceanside shrine, Marion made no attempt to follow his mother. He even promised never to tell anyone about her, and allowed his mother to escape him.

Fortunately, the shrine in question was not abandoned like Marion was. It was dedicated to the Kami of the Ocean, who was still worshiped by the nearby fishing village. Some of the elders found Marion in the morning, and they were mystified by how he could see the spirits they worshiped. They believed that Marion was the Ocean Kami themselves, and took him back to the village. There he adopted the name "Shiro," for his white hair, because he refused to give up his birth name. After all, he didn't want anyone to link him to his mother.

For three years, Shiro lived in the village as a Kami... but he was not actually a Kami. The real Ocean Kami was still attached to the shrine, and her power was fading. The villagers believed in their Kami, but only to lay blame on her. They blamed the Kami for every poor fishing season, every bad storm, every sinking ship... As a result, their Kami only had the ability to do terrible things with her spirit magic. She hoped that Shiro would change their opinion of her.

That never came to pass. Instead, the villagers began to blame Shiro. He was isolated from children his age due to his supposed status, and the adults only treated him well out of self-interest. When that good treatment turned to outrage and abuse, Shiro believed he deserved it. He was called 'The Curse of the Sea,' and it was believed that Shiro had come to destroy the village.

At age nine, the villagers finally had enough of him. They contacted a spirit hunter about the little Kami that had come to curse them. Spirit Hunters snuck in one night, took Shiro to the shrine, and murdered him. At least no one had the will to disrespect the child's body: He was left with a stab in the back, completely aware of how hated he was.

This was the shrine of the Ocean Kami. She was outraged to see what the villagers did to the poor boy, who did not actually possess the power they blamed him for. The Ocean Kami threw a fit, creating huge storms and killing fish with her evil powers.
However, no one connected the punishment with their crime. Instead, they believed that it was Shiro cursing them. They cursed him in return, blaming Shiro for every disaster that had ever befallen any of them and officially thinking of him as The Curse Kami.

Faith is miraculous. And sometimes, miracles are cruel.

In this case, the miracle was Shiro's revival. His spirit became a Kami, and his shrine became his own human body. Shiro woke up in his corpse, but was unable to feel pain from the stab or see the wound at all. He simply believed he had been lucky somehow.
This shocked the Ocean Kami. She could feel her own power fading and understood that Shiro was replacing her, but felt no ill will towards the child. Rather, she felt oddly maternal towards the young boy. She didn't want for him to know he had died, so lied to him. But she also urged him to flee from the village, before they found out he was still alive.

Shiro did not doubt the Ocean Kami. In fact, he immediately trusted the beautiful spirit woman before him. Shiro began calling her "Princess" because she was so beautiful, with the address eventually shortening to "Prinny."
Unknown to both of them, this nickname became Name Magic, and the new name became Prinny's shrine. Prinny led Shiro away from the shrine, but the entire time she expected to be chained to her physical shrine. She was surprised when she was able to leave the village behind. But Prinny never questioned it, and instead decided to make raising Shiro her top priority.

The two of them arrived at Asteria City, where they met "Tina the Tourism Kami." Tina's shrine was a tourism mascot for the town, and she had a lot of faith thanks to the children in Asteria. She allowed them to live in the attic of the tourism bureau. Initially, no one else in town could see Prinny... But Shiro spoke of her so confidently that even the adults began to believe that he really did have a beautiful older sister.

Thanks to Shiro's sincere love for his two new sisters, they both came to inhabit powerful name shrines. Tina and Prinny both became physical illusions, who got part-time jobs and started renting a real home for Shiro.

Though not conscious of name magic, they began calling him "Shi" and their family "The Yamato Family." Stories of "Shiro the Curse Kami" were beginning to filter into the modern city of Asteria, and they feared anyone making the connection. As much as possible, the girls wanted Shi to live a normal life. The now-sisters enrolled Shi in public school (because apparently it was illegal not to let him go to school or something,) and the three enjoyed a quiet, happy life.

It was happiness that did not last. Because despite trying to rename Shiro, his curse powers caught up to him. Not because anyone knew "Shi" was "Shiro," but because he himself still believed that he was a curse. Shi was a Kami, but his human body allowed him to create his own faith: And his own self-fulfilling prophecy.
It started small, but once it did begin it quickly snowballed. Broken mirrors turned to broken computers, lights flickering if he touched them, people getting sick if they sat with him... His school friends became wary, and even the adults began to wonder why Shi was plagued with tragedy. When spirit hunters wandered through Asteria, they recognized the now twelve year old boy as the one they had tried to kill years before.

This time, Shi was not killed. When Prinny and Tina realized the family was in danger, they packed a bag for Shi and told him to run. They promised to follow after him, but that they would throw the spirit hunters off his trail. He agreed and took off to a nearby forest.

Neither sister succeeded in coming after him.

After waiting for the entire night, Shi went back to check on his family. He found their home burnt to the ground, Tina's mascot self vandalized, and that all local spirits had been destroyed. He himself was discovered by some townspeople, and was fortunate enough that they were kind people. They were people who had adored Tina and Prinny, and adored Shi too. Even when they knew he was the Curse Kami Shiro, they could not hate him. They gave Shi money and supplies, then urged him to run away before anyone discovered him. When the twelve year old boy asked how he could repay them, he received a confusing answer:

"Just find a place where you can smile again."

Though confused by the request, Shi agreed. He left Asteria and began traveling on foot. Along the way, he continued to meet spirits and befriend them. With every town he stayed in, Shi made friends and created lasting name shrines. He also left a trail of destruction in his wake. Those who were kind to him suffered grave misfortunes, the places he lingered in were struck with natural disasters, and there was a clear media trail documenting terrible things that happened along his traveling path. The number of people who cursed Shi only grew, and with the stronger blame game came even stronger powers. It was a cycle that he could not escape.

As Shi was growing up, the world around him was also growing. And it was changing. Spirits and Kami were becoming mainstream again. Popular rumors had turned to televised sightings, which then turned to actual Kami appearing on television. By the time that Shi was fifteen years old, the idea of spirits was so mainstream that regular people could catch glimpses of them. Spirits appeared as brilliant orbs of light, which appeared in flickers to those who believed.

As this Era of Changing continued, humans blamed or praised Kami even more than this ever. It was this increase in faith that allowed Kami to appear more publicly, which started a positive cycle for their rising powers. This cycle also pushed spirit hunters to train themselves more, as they realized Kami and spirits were becoming more threatening. Finally, it also created a wave of popularity in the media.

Kami often appeared as superheroes. There were cartoons and tv shows produced about these supernatural beings, which could help or harm the world in whole. Shi longed to be one of the "good guys," but was burdened by all the proof that he was a villain. He decided to change his name again, this time to "Yoshiya Yamato," and become a "good guy." He wanted to redefine the story of Shiro, and his powers, by being a superhero.

At Yoshiya's current canon point, he is trying to be a hero. He lives alone and tries to fight crime at night, though clumsily so due to his powers. Even has he optimistically tries to change his self-image, he is afraid of attending school or going anywhere that he might hurt others. He continues to be his own self fulfilling prophecy, and accidentally causes more harm than good.

[maskedsmile]

Personality:
. FIRST IMPRESSIONS: sweet. cute. polite. considerate.

First impressions can be deceiving. While it is true a portion of Shi's outer personality is an act, it is just as true that he has his genuine highlights. That said, Shi gives off the impression of being akin to a shoujo manga heroine: He's a nice person who smiles a lot and powers through his hardships. His initial instinct is to be polite and considerate. Shi also comes off as being shy, linked to how overly conscious is of those around him.

He's also the type to smile a lot. When he's in a neutral mood (ex.: not afflicted with recent trauma,) then he will almost consistently be smiling. It is pretty plain that this kid has a talent for optimism, as he seems able to drag himself out of the angsty pit of despair no matter how deeply he may fall. And in his rush to look after others, Shi is often throwing himself under the bus-- noticeably so.

A lot of this stems from honest factors of his personality. Shi is definitely someone who cares deeply about the people around him. He hands out his love and trust like free samples, and does it with the motivation that you'll be a repeat customer. And yes, he does possess the inner strength to get through tragedy and come out smiling.

But like all characters whose personality sections become threatening light novels, there is more going on under the surface. I'm so sorry.

. GRATEFUL FOR LIFE

A huge motivating factor for this kid is the fact that he is glad to be alive. He knows he is in a blessed situation and is very glad for it. His blessed situation is something a lot of humans take for granted, which does make his gratefulness seem weird out of context: Shi is glad to exist physically.

This means that Shi obsesses over physical things. He is freakishly happy that he can taste food, glad that people can see his face, happy he can hug a soft stuffed animal, grateful when you hear him... Where Shi is from, a Spirit does not have these things. Existing in a physical form is a luxury to Spirits and Kami, and Shi is very aware of that.

This results in Shi coming off as kind of weird. He gets excited over trivial and weird things: For example, he would probably enjoy touching a slimey animal because HE CAN FEEL SLIME! Shi also forgives painful things, such as being yelled at or injured, because he feels he should be glad to feel anything at all.

His appreciation of these trivial things reflects in how he treats other people. Firstly, he understands that normal humans don't have the same respect for their physical existence as he does. That's fine. He never holds it against them. To be so spoiled by a luxury is enviable, and he doesn't hate people for complaining.

What he does do is try to help people appreciation their blessing as best he can. He also tries really hard to leave physical, lasting evidence of his existence. Shi's hobbies include things like composing music, playing various instruments, baking and cooking, and light sewing. He wants people to be happy they have ears, taste buds, and a body they can dress up. He also wants to leave things behind, so when he inevitably vanishes he won't be lost forever.

. HAPPY BY CHOICE

Shi's happiness and grateful personality is genuine. He is not pretending to love his life... all the time. The truth is that this kid has many reasons to be sad and he didn't just magically get rid of them. He chose to get rid of them. It's as unhealthy as it sounds.

For as his appreciation for his life, Shi is also burdened with guilt over it. A lot of people who he has loved, and still loves, died to get him where he is now. Shi knows that his life is precious. When he gets upset, particularly when he's mad about the cards life gives him, Shi worries he's throwing salt in his dead loved one's wounds.

So while he is almost always going to smile in the end, know that he doesn't always smile for the right reasons. Sometimes, Shi is just smiling because he thinks it is his job. He thinks that, as a Spirit gone Kami, he doesn't have the right to complain about his physical life. There are Spirits who envy his position and he doesn't want to hurt them by complaining about a gift. Once again, he's very considerate. Too considerate.

He lets it define him in a very unhealthy way. Shi can be taken advantage of and hurt over and over AND OVER, because he doesn't want to ever think ill of his lot in life. He does not entirely understand that you can be happy to be alive, but sad about the life you love.

. POOR ANGST MANAGEMENT

He's in his teens now, but Shi can be very childish. Particularly regarding how he understands and handles his emotions. Now, I will briefly rise to his defense in two ways. For one, Shi died when he was ten years old. His emotional development got thrown off track very drastically.

Secondly, Shi has never had a stable figure in his life to raise him. His decided family and role models come and go through a fast moving revolving door. They are rarely around long enough to teach Shi the things we take for granted, like how to grieve or how to be angry at someone. Likewise, Shi hasn't had anyone to teach him to properly distinguish the evils of the world. He's naive and easily tricked, which leads him to easily fall into situations where he wants to scream or cry.

His mechanisms for dealing with these things are self-taught, by a physically dead kid who feels pressured into smiling. Shi tries to bottle up negative feelings for as long as humanly possible. He will change topics, tell smiling lies, and ignore his negativity. And he's very rarely going to let anyone help him deal it. When he reaches his breaking point, Shi will flee and vent privately. He does not want anyone to see him as being ungrateful to live, and he thinks taking more than a few minutes to deal with sadness equates to him wasting his precious life. It's not healthy, but he's never learned it is the wrong way to handle himself.

. NARCISSTIC

The way that Shi is perceived is incredibly important to him. This kid is practically homeless for a large portion of his life, but he won't be caught dead looking it. That's actually part of his problem: He doesn't want to be caught dead. Shi is a Kami piloting his own corpse. His body is dead. There's even a gorey stab wound on his back. Yet Shi does not look like your classic zombie child: I purposefully colour his icons with blush on his cheeks, eyeshadow around his eyes, and sometimes I add frickin eyelashes. No one looks like that rolling out of grave. The kid spends his bits of money on cosmetics and meticulously maintains his make-up, hygeine, fashion, and aesthetic to look lively and healthy.

Shi cares A LOT about how he looks. He cares about how other people look too. He's downright narcissistic. His big sister, Prinny, got her name because she looked like a 'Princess' to Shi. He attached that narcissistic, appearance-based name to her so hard it became a magical shrine. While part of his naming ability is do to him loving the Spirits and their personalities, it shouldn't be ignored that Shi creates shrines that are attractive. The names he picks usually relate to something physical. Looks matter a lot to this kid.

Granted, Shi also grows in an environment where being physically seen is a great gift. Spirits lament the fact that no one can see them. A Spirit that can be seen by humans and have a physical body is considered blessed (and has probably transcended to being a Kami, but ssh.) Shi was also harassed and murdered because of his appearance. His Kami name, Shiro, comes from his deathly white hair. The only reason he hasn't changed his hair colour is because it is an aspect of his mortal life, which is a concern I will cover shortly.

. SEEKING APPROVAL

Physical appearances aren't all that matter to Shi. He cares a lot about how people perceive his personality as well. Shi is one of those kids who is constantly seeking for approval. He has always wanted to be someone people like. Even before he as labeled a Curse Kami, before his home village ganged up to murder him, and before he was abandoned by his mother, 'Marion' wanted to be liked. Now moreso than ever, he understands that the way people perceive you is important.

As a Kami, Shi's existence is largely dictated by how humans see him. He is a Curse Kami precisely because so many people have cursed his very existence. He understands that he causes even more trouble when more people label him as a "curse." And that trouble will lead him to losing people, places, and happiness.

So Shi puts a lot of effort into how people perceive him. Before delving into how Shi wants to be seen, I should point out that "wanting to be liked" makes him overly cautious and he usually just comes off as shy. He's watching his every word, every action, and every reaction to get a positive response. When he's not sure how to proceed, he hangs his head and stutters in a quiet, nervous voice. That's not at all how he wants people to see him, but hey. If we all came off how we want to, the world would be weird.

. DESIRE TO BE PERCEIVED AS "KNIGHTLY"

What Shi wants to project is the image of someone confident, polite, happy, and self-reliant. Read his writing samples now and laugh at how far off the mark he actually is. Shi will tell blatant lies to people, thinking he is somehow covering his trail. His lies are meant to throw people off the scent of how lonely, scared, and dependent he actually is. Sometimes, Shi does find himself in a situation where he can project his desired image. When he gets the ball rolling, Shi tries to flower his speech with "fancy" speech. More like, he sounds like he read one Shakespeare play and thinks he now fluently speaks ye olden English. When he's got the act going, he smiles politely and behaves like a gentleman. He wants to be like a fairytale knight.

But Shi is not a fairytale knight. The fact he wants it so badly just goes to show how aware of that fact he is. Shi is a Curse Kami. He is a Spirit of a young boy who was tossed to Kami status.... because people hated him too much to let him rest in peace. The very fact he is able to exist and struggle for happiness is linked to how much people hate him. That's a hard fact to live with. It's even harder to live with it while choosing to smile. The way Shi lives with his Curse Kami existence is really a testament to his strong will. Shi probably could be some form of fairytale knight, if he wasn't so caught up on the Curse Kami reality.

. SELF HATRED

Being a Curse Kami scares him. Shi hates it. He may live with it, but he is never happy with it. While he might smile a lot and while he has the potential to be a cute and goofy child, the fact he is a Curse always exists. Shi knows that he can get people killed just by hanging around them. His craving to be liked and in good company contradicts his kind hearted love for everyone around him: He wants to be with people, but he knows that it wrong. So Shi often plays an annoying game of tug-of-war with people when he first meets them. He is simultaneously trying to be a good boy and push them away, for their safety, while trying to give them chances to tug him over, for his sake.

Inevitably, Shi is probably always going to let himself be tugged over. His desire to love others for selfish reasons keeps outweighing any selfless love. He has accepted this, since he is a Curse Kami, and decided that the most he can do is "be careful." He tries very hard not to let his friends get TOO close. Like an emo, edgy anime boy, Shi tries to hold people are arms' length. He would rather not hurt people and prove to them he's a curse... For his sake as much as theirs.

As I close this personality, I will end it with the fact that Shi doesn't like himself. He's trying his best to be happy. He really does want to achieve a happiness that justifies all the lives lost to save his... but he's tired. That revolving door of relationships took its toll on him already, and now he is just standing there letting it slap him in the face. Shi believes too strongly that 'love and happiness' exist, even for Curses.

Because Shi also believes that he's a Curse. He has seen too much proof that this is true. He might deny facts that get in the way of his ability to enjoy his life, but that doesn't mean he thinks highly of himself. This self hatred are also, ironically, what make him such a dangerous Curse. A Kami is defined by humans, and Shi's mortal body-- the shrine his Spirit is attached to-- is still capable of defining Kami. So as long as Shi holds the belief that he is a Curse Kami, that is not going to change.

FORTUNATELY, a few good relationships and some consistency in his life can right that. Or could. If he stopped getting people killed. But eh. Some cycles are doomed to repeat themselves.

A/C

[maskedsmile]

Helping myself track AC-eligible threads and be done early!

July 2019

[maskedsmile]

<b>Player:</b> Berri <b>Character:</b> Yoshiya/Shi Yamato | <user name="maskedsmile"> <b>Thread:</b> <a href="https://crystalnet.dreamwidth.org/436769.html?thread=63975713#cmt63975713">07/12</a> [3] <b>Thread:</b> <a href="https://empatheias.dreamwidth.org/900076.html?thread=186360812#cmt186360812">07/12</a> [4] <a href="https://crystalnet.dreamwidth.org/438733.html?thread=64092621#cmt64092621">07/23</a> [3]